I Have Become the Person I used to Make Fun Of…
A key benefit of aging is being able to laugh at yourself more, or at least that has been my experience. There is less pride and self-righteousness involved in this middle phase of life and beyond.
I have had some interesting experiences since the beginning of the year that we can simply label as “self growth”.
But the gist of it is that my day to day is being shaped by things that I used to make fun of other people for doing. Not meanly and loudly. But that inner sarcasm that says, “why on earth would someone do that” and quietly feel better and superior about yourself.
The first is finding a day care for our beloved puppy, Buster. When I first heard about day care for pets, my own children were small enough to also qualify for day care. My mindset did not fully understand or interpret the love or attention that a puppy needs. Or the energy that he must burn that we simply cannot give to him every day with all our hectic schedules.
So, yes, I am filling out doggie day care applications, being interviewed and quietly laughing at myself all at the same time.
The second is larger in scope in every way – emotionally, physically, and financially.
Direct statement: I used to judge families that invested in high level competitive sports and activities for their children that were demanding of all resources and typically involved travel out of state. It made zero sense to me, and I just couldn’t grasp the factors that led to that choice.
Wouldn’t you want to have more time at home as a family? Or money in your wallet?
I am now eating a full plate of crow, with a daughter who went to a national dance competition in Florida earlier this month, and a son who will soon be traveling to Atlanta for a DECA competition and then to Ecuador this summer for a Spanish Immersion program.
Because here’s the thing.
They are their own people, creating their own futures and destinies that have very little to do with me at this point. They are smart, capable, hardworking and determined individuals charting their course.
Bonus is that they are doing things that I never would have been able to at their ages.
It is my job to support them to be successful, and to lean on their coaches, teachers, and mentors to help navigate what is in their best interest.
None of it is about me as they become young adults.
And that is the remarkable part.
The incredible people guiding them in their sports, activities and education know them and their capabilities far better than I may.
They bring the opportunities to us, for the child’s parents and families to enable as best as they can. How lucky they are…
I know that what I will share next is widely relatable to parents of high school and college age children.
There is this physical feeling that I get in my chest close to where my heart is…. A fluttering, and widening and tightening when I look at my two teenagers – almost 18 and newly 15.
When I look at their recent photos, watch them do what they love to do in life, and simply sit back and watch them at a crowded dinner table. Or when I see a young mom at the park in the middle of the day and wonder where the time has gone.
The next few years will go by so very fast, and they are slowly cutting their apron strings. It is amazing and touching and hard and sad.
The best that we can do for them is to try to give them every tool possible to shine in life, sometimes putting myself last. This is a phase of life that will all come full circle.
Even if that does mean eating crow in large quantities.