What I Learned from Four Months of Musical Theatre College Auditions (Hint: It has nothing to do with theatre)

If you don’t know much about musical theatre (why would you?), the process is painful. It goes something like this:

• Thousands of high school seniors send prescreen videos to their schools of choice
• Said students are either invited to audition in person, or respectfully declined
• You then become part of a pool of a few hundred students who audition on campus or at a Unifieds event
• You wait and wait and wait to find out if you made it to the elite 16-24 people that are ultimately selected for each program

You read that right…it starts at about 1,000 or 2,000 and ends with 20. It’s hard. And statistically not in your favor from the very start.

I watched my own child, and the children of other parents just like me, slog through this process and here’s what I learned about life from these brave 18-year-old dreamers:

The odds don’t have to be in your favor for something to be the right thing for you to do.

If there is one thing any director or theatre teacher will tell you, it’s that if you can see yourself doing something else – anything else – you should. This is a career that is hard and full of rejection and not built to make your success a certainty. But, that doesn’t matter. Just like any calling in life, if it is for you, you have to answer the call. There is a bravery in believing in yourself in spite of tough odds. And most often as we grow and mature, that bravery is beaten out of us. Our confidence is called dumb. We are told we are dreamers. We are encouraged to be practical. We are pushed to be safe. But fortune favors the brave. After watching hundreds of brave kids chase their dreams, I know it is the only way to live without regret or fear of what could have been. Our dreams – those fires that help shape who we believe we are – should never be extinguished.

There is always someone better than you.

Hard truth. You will never be the best. There is always someone who can do that one little thing smarter, more gracefully, with more insight; however you choose to judge it. And this process is full of what feels a lot like judging. The ones who survive don’t turn over their power to others to define their worth. They hold on to their personal integrity and define their talent for themselves. And being the best often doesn’t matter as much as we think it does. Being committed to learning and growing matters. So we have to let go of the belief that if we aren’t the best then our contributions aren’t necessary. Everyone matters. And sometimes, most times, heart, head, attitude, drive, and passion are what determine the final decision.

Comparison is the thief of joy.

You’ve probably read this already on social media. And it’s so true. If you spend all your time looking at the one next to you, you lose sight of the one that matters most – you. Focus on what you bring to the table and how you bring it with originality. Individuality is our most powerful currency. And if we are trying to mask that uniqueness by working to be like someone else, we’ve already lost.

There is a place for everyone.

In the audition process, as in life, it’s easy to adopt a mindset of scarcity. The resources are finite. The approval and acceptance only goes so far. Someone else’s success takes from mine. Please. Don’t. Believe. That. I have to tell myself this every day. Root for your peers. Root for your co-workers. Root for the people that seem like they are coming for your success. Because the reality is, there is enough to go around. Everyone lands where they are meant to land. And – hear this – you cannot miss what is yours. It’s yours.

Take what you love seriously.

All of the students I met over the past months, despite their specific talents or their personal dreams, had one important thing in common. They were prepared. They took their craft seriously and knew that they could never practice enough, research enough, read enough, or think that they had learned all they could. We all have to approach life with this hunger for growth and betterment. Life gives us infinite possibilities for staying young and curious if we choose to take hold of them.

At the end of the day, it’s just you in the room.

I watched my daughter, twelve times, walk into a room by herself, armed with her songbook and a prayer, to face a panel of professional artists who hold her future in their hands. She knew she had five or ten minutes (hopefully more) to show them who she is. That is what an audition is. It’s an artistic handshake where your goal is to show them what you can bring to their program that no one else can. And often, this comes from understanding who you are and doubling down on yourself. This is where each of us stands, all the time. We have ourselves, and hopefully a hard-won knowledge of who we are. Each day, the sunrise asks us to show the world that story. For my daughter, that story is a song and a scene. What is it for you? What is it for me? Do we know what makes us special? Have we really thought about the gifts we’ve been given to make the world better? In the final analysis, we have ourselves. So fight for yourself. Show up. Be brave. Leave it all on the table. And leave the room with your head held high.

At the time of writing this post, I have no idea where my daughter will end up. But I do know that when all the auditions were over, and all we had left to do was wait, she said “I know if I don’t make it into a program it won’t be because I failed. I did my best. I feel good about all of it. Now I just need to believe the right program will find me.” My prayer is that we all feel that way about our work and our relationships. I did my best. I gave it my all. Now I trust that a thankful world will see it and use it. Amen.