Timing is Everything

For those of you who don’t know me well, I attempt to hide that I am a Type-A personality who worries often about lots of things. Which leads to control issues that I also attempt to deny.

So it shouldn’t really surprise me that I was worried about the concept of “having it all”. I remember working at NCR as an intern and being a full-time student at the University of Dayton, and asking a key question of one of my Women’s Studies’ professors. I had selected that minor for my set of electives.

My question was – can you really have it all? A meaningful marriage and family life as well as a fulfilling career?

It should surprise no one that her answer was complicated, honest and real, even if also encouraging.

This theme has followed me as I became a mother as well as pursued a career. And I have constantly found myself on this teeter-totter of wanting to be everything that I possibly can to my children and also have a career that is challenging and fulfilling. If you look at the last almost fifteen years of my resume, you can see a clear pattern of me trying to have it all.

Fast forward to today, and my landscape of trying to have it all has become increasingly complicated. My children need me in different ways and we have the additional dynamics of being a blended family. Our lives are beautiful and messy and fun and hard on a daily basis. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

So when I found myself recently in a great role working for a great boss and with a great team, but doing just an average job in my home life, I had to make some hard decisions. I simply couldn’t do right for the role and for the company and do right by my family. A bedtime call over FaceTime with my youngest son in tears while I was out of town on a work trip was the final indicator that I needed to make some changes.

Timing – literally – is everything. Fast forward five to seven years and I could have found myself in a different spot, and more able to “have it all”.

Luckily, I was able to depart from my job fairly gracefully, and land a wonderful new position that is closer to home. I think that my children were just as excited as I was about my new job (see blog photo as we celebrated my new job). And there has to be some good for them in seeing me do hard things and make difficult decisions. And sometimes “having it all” has more to do with the smiles on their faces than anything else….