We Are Doing It All Wrong

We really are doing it all wrong.

Clearly – not everything…

But I have strong opinions on what is wrong with sports for children and teens.

It is not a universal point of view. I think sports are incredibly important – truly any team experience for a child into adulthood is essential. It builds the orientation that believing in a team member is just as important as your own performance. And that reward comes with a lot of hard work.

All our children have had wonderful experiences on teams, and it takes a special type of person to be a coach. Especially ones that volunteer for the role and all that goes with it.

And I can’t say enough good things about the cross-country program at Centerville.

All that being said, we really are allowing some not great things to happen with our kids and sports.

I have always told our kids that skillsets and sports are like a pyramid. Everyone starts at the wide bottom as small children, learning and growing. Over time, though, the talent narrows. Which is why so few athletes go from high school to college. And then even less to professional levels.

Many parents do not act like that. As well as some coaches.

At a lacrosse game on Mother’s Day last year, the game was paused for at least twenty minutes to get a mother to leave the premises. Her insults and language were appalling towards the referees and the opposition. As well as how she spoke to her own child.

Lady – the kids are TWELVE. We are at a public park in Harrison…. It is not the Olympics. Simmer down, get in your car, and come back later.

What possible message does this show our children?

I also wonder what a parent should do when a child practices a sport for more than 5-8 hours a week, and often comes home in tears from the berating and overt pressure.

Other parents must have the same conflict of emotions – wanting to get involved and stop the poor behavior…. But also unsure of the line between being overly involved and potentially setting your child up to be targeted.

I am amazed by the things that our children accomplish in every way – as well as our nieces and nephews. It is incredible to witness all of them excelling and achieving, and in sports and activities that I never could have mastered. And we are deeply grateful for the positive role models that help them each day.

But what is the right way to handle what is obvious toxic behavior at any sport?

Are we really doing it all wrong?