The Reason for the Season

I wrote earlier this year about the shifts that happen as our children get older, and it feels heightened to me as we celebrate the holidays.

As recently as a few years ago, I would be focused on their wish lists and making all their Christmas dreams come true, right down to the surprises in their stockings. And putting a lot of pressure on myself to make every day magical as we count down to 12/25. No one asked me to do it, but it felt like something that parents do and try to give precious Christmas memories to their children.

This year feels much different. Our girls have provided very detailed wish lists, with Kate including links and photos. The boys are another story. Jack has asked for khaki pants and G2 pens, while Connor simply wants a new basketball and Xbox credits. Not much to work with there, boys.

But the shift this year is internal for me and driven by a few things that are completely outside of gift lists. Some of it is too personal and raw now to share here, but the main driver is something that I have shared with those closest to me over the last year.

I question a lot of the impact of the pandemic, and what its value was in many ways. But one lesson that it taught me has been invaluable. After being with someone or in a situation, if I feel at all negative, sad, angry, or depleted, then I will not engage again. Life is way too short to spend time or energy in situations or with people that deplete us instead of building us back up or create positivity.

And maybe that is what the holiday season should be all about – making time for those most valuable and special to us, sharing joy and experiences together, and showing up for one another in the year ahead.

I challenge you to think of what that would look like for you, and to think through who in your life you are at odds with. Is it worth it? Do you know the reason why? Can you do something to make it better? And if you can, then when?

We all have individuals or situations in our life which will never be fully ideal or “fixable”. But we also probably have amends to make to someone in some way. I continue to be amazed by what a simple “I am sorry and what can I do to help” statement can do to make a tough situation better.

We are hosting our joint family Christmas at our house this year in about a week, and I can’t wait. The happiness that I feel seeing our entire family in one room, laughing and being together, is priceless. It is a feeling that I wish I could bottle up and enjoy all year long.

And as you celebrate your holiday, I encourage you to think about who your best people are in life that show up for you and challenge you to be better. Show them extra love this season and include in your thoughts those that could maybe use some outreach from you to improve how you both get along.

I hope each of you finds a meaningful reason for the season, and we wish all of you a wonderful holiday!