Don’t Take it Personally
Sometimes it can seem like everything around you is falling to shit. You’ve probably been there. And recently, I’ve been there. Over the past few weeks, it has been one unpleasant (unfortunate, unlucky–honestly, just pick an adjective here) thing after another. Either the universe has a sense of humor or it’s testing me, because all of these events happened exactly as my vacation was ending. Like it was trying to say, “Oh really? You think you get to relax? Ha, I’ll show YOU.”
On the last morning of our family vacation cruise, while looking forward to one final sun-soaked day of frozen drinks in the middle of the ocean before heading back to “real life,” I made the mistake of turning my phone on for the first time in several days…and got hit in the face with reality. A stream of texts came through from our housesitting friends back home, informing us that our water heater had sprung a leak, complete with pictures of the busted water heater and the wet basement carpet (plus a photo of an overturned plant, courtesy of Zeke, our cat who acts like anything green and leafy is his enemy).
You might be surprised to hear that my first thought wasn’t actually “Thank God we had house sitters!” Instead, I not-so-silently cursed myself for turning on Wifi in the first place, but we were expecting happy news of our new niece being born that morning, which we didn’t want to miss. That was Friday.
We got home Saturday night, called an emergency plumber on Sunday, and on Monday the storm intensified. My son, Ryan, came down with Flu B. HARD. As in “he missed four school days and baseball practice/tryouts due to a fever that barely dropped below 101”–that kind of hard. Then, right on cue, the new water heater failed less than 24 hours after being installed, we suddenly had no water pressure, and our 6-month old washing machine refused to fill. Lovely. What followed was a week of tearing out the ruined basement carpet and baseboards, contacting the insurance adjusters, coordinating with various plumbers and repairmen, accepting the fact that the mountain of vacation laundry would have to wait, and catering to Patient Zero, all while trying to prevent the flu from spreading, with limited access to hot water.
Several other things happened that caused me to ask if maybe Mercury was in retrograde (it was), or whether I had inadvertently stumbled into some really bad karma (the jury is still out), including getting ripped off by someone on Facebook marketplace who was trying to buy a piece of furniture from us. They arrived just as we sat down to dinner, but since we had taken the furniture outside earlier in the day, I trustingly told them to load it up and leave the money in our mailbox. They left half the money and promptly disappeared. Yes, this was a rookie mistake on my part, but I’m used to my safe neighborhood bubble where everyone holds hands and sings Kumbaya, so I have been conditioned to blindly trust people. I should probably work on that, but let’s not get off track.
What’s my point in all this? While it probably seems like I’m shamelessly complaining about the shit storm happening around me, I promise I’m not looking for sympathy or even the number of a decent plumber. Was it inconvenient? Yes. Bad timing? Obviously. Did I want to yell, “It’s not fair!” and stomp around breaking things? Ok, maybe a little. But instead of Hulk-smashing everything in sight, I tried to dig a little deeper into the part of my psyche that feels better when I remain calm. I also had to remind myself that absolutely NONE of this was personal, so I should probably stop taking it that way.
Mercury retrograde, while consistently annoying and disruptive, does not intentionally throw my life into chaos in order to point and laugh. Flu B and my water heater didn’t get together and plot a coup. The person who essentially stole half of my entertainment center most likely needed that money more than I did, and on top of that, has to deal with the knowledge that she acted in a way that was neither honest nor decent.
In times of chaos and struggle– especially then–it’s vital to take a deep breath and at least try to look for the silver lining, no matter how challenging that task may be. So, here’s my silver lining…
We had good friends watching our house while we were gone, and they went above and beyond the call of duty. They drained the water heater and turned off the gas; they used a shop vac and brought over a fan to dry out the carpet. They swept up the dirt from the plant Zeke destroyed. They had our backs, and despite the chaos at home, we took them out to dinner Sunday night and told vacation stories over good food and wine, thanking our lucky stars that we had friends like these.
While we were stuck out to sea without cell reception, my father-in-law stepped in and called several plumbers to get quotes and timeframes for replacing the water heater. It was eventually installed and running properly, our washer was fixed, and our insurance miraculously covered the cost of new carpet. Ryan got over the flu and made the baseball team. And a tiny evil part of me hopes that entertainment center fell out of the back of the furniture thief’s SUV as she was absconding with it.
When life throws that many roadblocks at me, I have to remind myself that none of it is personal–and you can drive yourself a little crazy thinking it is. True, a few times a year Mercury makes things wonky. But also, things just happen, unfortunately sometimes all at once, just when you’re finishing a perfectly great vacation. Amidst the storm, keep your head on straight, try not to smash things, and remember it’s OK to lean on the people who have your back. Return the favor when it’s your turn, try to look for the silver lining, and remember…this too shall pass.